We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
My penis needs a shock collar
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
