its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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