Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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