If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
