Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
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his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
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The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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