I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
