May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
so let's talk penis.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
