Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
