So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
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