You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
