And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
