can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Randomize
