Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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