When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
