Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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