the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
