yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
