whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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