you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
wow bdsm is so cute
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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