hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
