her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
