I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
