You just made me feel so damn special
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
