It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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