My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
