Your dad touched me again.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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