I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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