I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Randomize
