So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
