Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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