Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
