I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
