You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
handjob tips. give me some.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
