theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize