we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
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At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
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THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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