Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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