A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
