I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
