If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
