You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
He shit in the fireplace
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
