Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
