2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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