Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
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