May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
