Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
