why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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