if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Ambien. No doubt about it.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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