Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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