My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
It was confusing and full of hummus
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
