Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
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No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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