i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
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