i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Soap is not a condiment
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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