it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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