brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
