I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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