so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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