i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
