do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
