I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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