something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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