Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
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