You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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