i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize