Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
