My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Don't make out with my wife yet
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
my poor anus
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
