Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
