I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
